Desperation #9

Desperation

She was strikingly gorgeous, with curves that any woman would kill for, and blonde hair so luminescent you would think angles were singing cherubic choruses any where she went. Jen was what every young boy dreamed about when they pictured their ideal girlfriend. With a combination of brains and beauty there was little wrong with her. Jen had nothing to hide, she was gorgeous!

However, she didn’t always believe it. Sometimes she needed to be reminded. That’s where I come in. You see, I am the one person on this earth that can make Jen realize how beautiful she really is. With all the ugliness that Jen found in the world, I was the one shining light.

This isn’t something I asked for, nor is it something I’m proud of; it’s hard to live up to these expectations. Quite possibly the most difficult thing in this world is to be someone’s everything. To have so much pressure, to have to be perfect in someone’s eyes is impossible, but that was my task. I had to remind Jen that she was perfect. The idea of failure is something that was crushingly heavy on my heart. If I’m not perfect, even for a second, she might lose all hope in anything good.

Two years ago I almost committed such a tragedy. In fact, I was so sure that I could never get her trust back that I drank myself into a blur. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, all I did was drink, and drink heavily. Being someone’s everything is no easy job, and I would never wish it on my worst enemies. However, to redeem yourself in the way that I did is the single greatest thing any human being can do.

After my mistake, and my subsequent alcoholic period, I got my act together. I picked myself up from the gutter of disappointment, and started the long road of redemption. Ten dozen roses, and countless boxes of chocolate candies and teddy bears later I was not only on Hallmark’s VIP list, but I had won back the woman I thought I lost.

That first kiss after all this shit happened was the best moment of my life. So over whelmed with joy and excitement I went nuts. I ran all across campus and ended up in Liles hall. Decked out in my winter parka, sweats and all, I jumped into the shower. I stood under the flowing water crying. I cried for the hell I had been through, and the Heaven I had been welcomed back to. That was the greatest night of my life.